According to brother Dbanj, “Don’t get it twisted, love is a beautiful thing”; to have started with that line, I guess he understood that yeah, love could hurt you and do all what not but in all, it is beautiful. I agree that heartache may come with it, enough to make you want to forget about love and just protect yourself but for how long?

Sometimes (scratch that), most times it feels like love is overrated. Imagine you meet this guy that says everything right, ticks all the boxes of what you want in a man and totally gets you…I mean he understands you sha! Then after the first year (if you are lucky), he starts acting up, you guys start fighting more than normal, argue over things that don’t even make sense and one day he throws one of these ‘infamous’ lines “sorry this isn’t working”, “we should see other people”, “its not you, its me” or the very rude “IT’S OVER”. At first it seems like your world is crashing and you can almost feel a physical pain in your chest that might explain the word ‘heart break’. Lets not forget all the time you invested in this relationship (yes! It’s an investment), the trips you made, the finances, the midnight calls, omg! does the phone hurt the ear after one hour… those long nights that eventually made your day seem like you had a night vigil.

The funny thing is, even when you know the relationship is bad, there’s no hope and you probably should move on, it still hurts when it is over. There are cases where it all seemed perfect and suddenly like a bolt of thunder, the guy or girl breaks up with you and may not even give a reason, huh?? This may not be the worst, what about the stories after the breakup that may wreck you; of how it was your fault and every other negative stuff.


Trust me, break up is so hurtful (been there), it can make you cry, break you and remember; you have to mask your feelings in public which is almost impossible, Break up songs start ministering to you like worship songs, you hold on to every line of the song like it is going to redeem your broken heart and you are amazed how the singer gets you. You may even make lots of promises to yourself on how to go about the next relationship, that is if you have not sworn to celibacy.

Sincerely, you have the right to be upset and make some drastic decisions, we might even play the blame game after the relationship is over, after all someone should take the fall right?? ; It was his fault, it was her fault, she cheated, he was a chronic liar bla bla bla; this will not make you feel better, just lots of hate and bitterness to go around.
My advice to you is to LOVE ANYWAY! Do not hold yourself back from love because you were hurt, do you quit school because it’s hard (okay maybe)? Love is and would always be a beautiful thing, it colours our lives and it is one of the few things that can make you smile to yourself, whistle in the park and sing aloud even when you have a bad voice. On the bright side, the lessons you learn from failed relationships can almost not be taught by anyone and I can bet you will not make the same mistake twice hopefully. I promised myself at a young age that no matter what ‘love does to me’ , I will keep loving, probably did not know what I was saying then, but it worked for me.

I would like to think of it this way, for most of the hurt we went through, he did not know better, she was not mature and had not even understood herself let alone understand you and IT WAS NOT MEANT TO BE! Guess who would be smiling while walking down the aisle or while watching her walk down the aisle?? YOU; thanking God it did not work out with the other guy or girl. To this I say, just KEEP LOVING because the experience you get when you find true love is one you would not trade for anything.



bride2mom