I can remember in secondary school, just when we were about to graduate, we would have a ‘year book’ where you are asked all sorts of questions and back then the one that caught my eyes and made me always think was when asked ‘Your ideal man’. You would see things like broad chest, handsome, sexy and a lot of stuff that will not even make sense in the real world. Even though I did not know so much then, I just thought how would a broad chest help you in marriage, don’t get me wrong this is good in itself… Leaving secondary school and maybe university or while in university, after meeting some ‘broad chested’ guys along the way in our dating lives, you ask a girl, what she wants in a man and the first thing you hear from the average girl is “he should be God fearing”, “he should be a christian”, caring, bla bla bla – a great shift from some years ago.
You will be amazed what christianity means to various individuals, to some it might be someone that just goes to church, someone that has the fear of God, someone that knows right from wrong, someone that is not so bad, that has a christian background and so on.
Now that every lady wants to be with a God fearing man, my question is, Is christianity a yardstick for a perfect relationship??? I have heard stories of the girl saying negative things about the guy and yet saying, “but he is a christian that is why I cannot leave him”.
The truth is christianity has been a ready blanket to cover lots of bad behaviours, there are christian guys and girls that are chronic liars and yet they are very committed in the church. Christianity does not make the bad character of the person go away… the temper, the wife beating, the cheating, the stealing, the emotional abuse. He or she might be born again but is the character born again? I am not saying people cannot change their ways but they have to want the change and since no one is perfect its best to know if you can you stand that character in marriage – you do not want a guy that will beat you up and say I am sorry, It is the devil! I dated a guy that after I caught him hands-deep in his lies and fabrications, he said, “Obehi please forgive me, let us pray” I was so disgusted. Let us pray? What about let us first and foremost talk about these lies… and he was giving me another religious explanation, gosh! I was so pissed!
There are guys and girls out there that would manipulate you with the word of God, that would twist your head with religion, would hurt and offend you but you would be the first to apologise after he has brainwashed you with some scriptures. Some of us would say “God is working on him”. Why not leave him or her till God is through with them…it actually works on your psyche when someone is playing on your intelligence, when they are wrong before you approach them , you will ask yourself a million times, “is it them or is it me? Am I taking this too far?”
The bible says “many will come in my name, but they are not of ME…” Gone are the days where you hear it is better he is a God guy than good guy, please let him be both a Good and God guy because some guys that are ‘christians’ render their wives ‘holy slaps’ every morning before church and goes up there lifting up holy hands. Do you think every lady in the choir or in the service department is a wife material?You could meet the one that insults/ belittles her hubby in public.
I once read a story where the pastors wife was going through domestic violence and opened up to a member of the church who went to her for counselling on same issue, please, if he is born again, his character should be born again too..many people love God, serve God but are not there yet when it comes to character and all that…According to someone I heard speak, he may be spirit filled but lack the fruits of the spirit.
To me , christianity is not a yardstick to a perfect relationship, it is an advantage, the character is also important…it is best you get married to someone who has good character and also a christian – he would treat you right or what do you guys think?
Have you ever been in a relationship like this? share your experience
I was once under the ministry of a pastor who categorically said he doesn’t refrain from dealing his wife slaps whenever she misbehaves. Before he made that statement I was fantasizing about how awesome it’ll be to marry this kinda man A lot of the so called christian brothers cover up their flaws with their ‘gifts of the spirit’. And it makes we wonder why they still possess their gifts with grossly flawed character then I remember the gift of God is without repentance. I would say christianity shouldn’t be a yard stick but the man or the lady must love God. Love God enough to be able to do the right things. Possess the fruit of the spirit as written in Gal 5. He doesn’t have to be tongue speaking, demon casting etc but possess the basic attributes that can be worked upon. And you would definitely know with this characters if he/she would make a good mate. B.A
Oh my goodness! That pastor is something. Then when he has misbehaved who would slap him?
LOL… Obehi forgive me, let us pray! SMH!!!
=))•´¨) ¸.•´ ¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨) (¸¸.•´(¸.•´(¸.• =)). Let us pray.lol. Dis write up is true to a good extent but part is controversial esp d running down of supposed Christians but like u said, their character nd fruits of d spirit re lagging behind. Christianity is a way of living life. Growth is needed. Meanwhile all tho doin beating things should shift.
Babe I totally with you. My friend and I were talking about this recently and she said Christianity is the barest minimum. Where we start from to assess a potential mate and not where we end. I met a guy in church some years ago, he was very committed and active so I admired his ways from a distance. When he extended his hand of friendship I accepted all too quickly because he was supposed to be ‘a brethren’. Not too long after, this guy began to push his boundaries and I had to cut off. Sometimes we let our guard down quickly and give someone a chance we shouldn’t be giving simply because they are ‘christian’. Gone are the days when you can trust someone simply because they profess Christianity. Like you said, we must examine their fruits. The Bible says not everyone that calls me Lord Lord will enter into my Kingdom. Meaning Jesus is applying this same principle, so why shouldn’t we. Thanks babe for putting this up.
I love this write Up! Let’s look @ it from this angle what really is the trait of a *Christain*- is it God-fearing(devil also fears God), is it bible Guru ( the devil does quote bible, Remember when he tried tempting Jesus, is it by going to church(demons also sits in church), is it by claiming born again(some are claim they are born again, but their characters are Born against. My point-it is good if the guy says he is a christian but a lady needs to do her own observations because they are wolves in sheep clothes as well, How can one uncover or discover such before they fall into wrong relationships if not marriage- through observation as well as praying for God’s direction. Good character and Christianity both work together in fact they reflect each other