Have you ever been shocked when a close friend shares something big, yet you had no idea they were going through it? That moment can feel both distant and disconnecting.

It happened to me recently, and it reminded me of something important: real friendship isn’t just about celebrating victories, it’s about walking together through the messy middle.

One day, I saw a friend post online:
“If not for the Lord’s mercies, I would have been consumed!”

I was left wondering….. Consumed from what? Where? And why didn’t I know?

Another friend joyfully told me,
“I just got a better paying job o!”

I celebrated with her, but then she added:
“Ha! If you know what I went through… my contract even expired…”

I was stunned. These are close friends, not acquaintances. Yet all I got to see was the testimony, never the test.

Too often, we only share the polished ending without opening up about the struggles in between. We want others to see us once things look tidy.

But real connection happens when we let people in while life is still messy.

The Bible reminds us:
“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” (Proverbs 17:17)
“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2)

True friendship means being present in the waiting, the loss, and the struggles, not just clapping at the finish line.

So here’s my invitation: don’t hide the test and only share the testimony. Invite your friends into the raw, unpolished middle.

Because that’s where love deepens.
That’s where connection grows.
And that’s where the testimony becomes something you can celebrate together.

Have you ever had a close friend share something only after it was over, and you were stunned? How did it make you feel? Do you invite others into your messy middle, or only after the win?