I know if we ask where and when was your first kiss? Most people will give the most romantic answers possible, the one that when you hear, you will just be weak, some of the answers will even beat the Hollywood impression of romantic and we may even explain it that the listeners will see fireworks…When asked your first Fart in front of your fiancé turned husband, I wonder how romantic the explanation will be ( hmmm…thinking).
There is something about fart and any toilet business that makes you feel vulnerable to whoever hears or perceives it…Fart to me is part of a bonding process and you know you are really close to this person when you guys can share your fart moments together, although there are some exceptional people that can do it anywhere or anytime and with anyone.
My first fart experience with Mrpossible… hmmm what can I say, I just wished it had come out later than earlier…You see Mrpossible and I had a long distance relationship and whenever we are visiting, we both respect each others toilet business or wait till the other person is out of sight before you do anything…I have always had a phobia of going to the toilet in a guys house because throughout the time there, I would have a picture in my head that the guy is imagining me and my poop even if all I have to do is pee. Earlier in life, I learnt to hold my pee till I get home so much so that the first time I visited Mrpossible’s house and needed to pee, I asked him to excuse me, because mehn! I did not want no guy hearing my pee drop….( I was such a shy person).
Back to the first fart, I should explain that on my way to Mrpossible’s house, this fart was already trying to raise its ugly head but I held it down as I was in a cab or BRT bus and was so dressed up that I could not afford to embarrass myself but as soon as I came out, I had forgotten everything about it as I was anxious to see Mrpossible. After seeing him and exchanging hugs, we started gisting then the miserable fart came knocking but trust me , I trapped it down. Knowing fully well that this time it will not just go on its own, I got very conscious because any excess laugh, sneeze or sitting in a funny way could let out this bowl of embarrassment. the mere thought of this got me thinking – would it be silent or come with a bang? Would it stink or escape without a trace? MrPossible kept gisting and chatting away innocently without the slightest idea of the trauma I was managing inside. Suddenly he needed to do something outside the room and excused himself, what joy filled my soul. I almost started humming ‘Hallelujah’ but quickly muttered Okay!
As soon as he left, I quickly scanned around and let it out (Phew! what a relief?) It came out with a loud bang that startled even the owner (lol). Before I could look around to make sure that rocket was heard by just me…Mrpossible just opened the door and said (((((boooom)))))) what was that???? he said this amidst laughter, he laughed and was holding his tummy and immediately I thought “how will I handle this…Should I deny, laugh or just keep a straight face like the sound was from a neighbours backyard? Ironically, you need to see how decked up I was, all put together and you know there is a way you dress up and there are certain things people can’t tag to you because of how sophisticated you look? Then I smiled and had this feeble laugh. The annoying boy kept repeating the sound and laughing me to scorn, I laughed as well and from that day shame flew out the door and whenever I tried to form, Mrpossible will not fail to remind me…
Looking back, it actually brought us closer but my kid sister is lucky she did not go on that visit with me, I would have denied it flat…If you are bold enough, tell us your fart story in front of your spouse, boyfriend, fiancé or in public?
Awww this is funny nd lovely! I enjoy reading stories of u nd your hubby! Tho I nevr comment. Keep it up
This is absolutely hilarious. Well done girl. I always enjoy your stories, you are such a skilled and beautiful writer. Keep it up. And thee way you share other people’s writtings too, great. This really cracked my ribs; every bit of it. Go on dear. God bless you.
LMAO!!! Hilarious story! I dont tink we r bold enuf to share ours bt it was one hell of an experience! Lool…
Lol@ will it come with a bang