Today I am going to talk about respect and if you are like me, the song that comes to your head would be Aretha Franklins R.E.S.P.E.C.T, love that song! In my opinion, I guess respect means different things to individuals and cultures especially when it comes to the greeting, some you can stand up to greet and some you better lie down flat or if your knee don’t touch the floor then you have offended them but the irony in respect is this, not every knee that hits the floor or head that bows are respectful people. 
In Africa, we take respect very serious; call me old school but that is a part of our culture I would like us to keep. The western culture has silently crept in, and there are a lot of “Hi’s” as to the good old “Good morning” ( I admit to be guilty of that) . Lately I have been hearing some kind of greetings that I think isn’t fair to the older folks… C’mon guys this is Nigeria we are talking about and inasmuch as we respect the “hi’s” based on the background and location of the person, we should also respect those that insist you say “good morning ma” to them or can’t you remember your parents correcting you whenever you say Good morning to an older person while growing up, they would give you the look and you will quickly add ma or sir. A typical Nigerian would take the “HI’s and Hello’s” when he is abroad even from Nigerians but when he is in Nigeria, he wants the “ma and sir” can you blame him? That is his culture and as they said culture is the way of life of people( thank God, I attended social studies class) Nowadays you hear a fifteen year old girl telling a 30 year old lady in Nigeria “Hi DEAR”, Please she is not your dear, if she started giving birth early, her first child should be your mate….loll! But on a serious note, if you are not close to her, why not say ” Good morning Miss Obehi” or “Hi Miss Obehi” or the famous “Good morning aunty”. If you are close to her though, you can say “good morning sist ” or which ever works for both of you based on your relationship…I grew up in an environment where everyone was called aunty and uncle, I haven’t made up my mind on how I would teach my children to address strangers but I really want them to be respectful. 
Another one I see a lot of people doing, is telling a way older person “how are you?” I think there are ways you say “how are you” that it is disrespectful to the average Nigerian and there are ways you say it, that it is respectful, when you says how are you to an adult, how do you expect them to answer?
I met a very young girl ,I used to know as a baby the other day and I said “hey dear” with a wave , and her response was “how are you?” sincerely, I did not know how to answer the question. ( I know some people are giving me the evil eye now)…I have no problem in “how are you” if you are younger and we are close but when we barely know each other and your response to my hi is how are you? My problem is how do I answer you ” do I say I am fine, just that I kicked a stone while walking” What do I really say? In Nigeria ‘how are you’ seem to be the way an adult checks on a younger one so please
, If you go meet your boyfriend / friend/ fiancé mum, never say “how are you?”, I don’t think any African mum appreciates it, in short I have heard them complain about it. If she was sick say something like so “mummy how are you doing now? “If it is just for pleasantries save the “how are you’s” for your friends and when it is an elderly person, you can skip that side of the communication or after they have asked you how you are doing, you can go “mummy how is everything?” Since the Nigerian mentality takes how are you to be done by only the older people, so maybe we should keep it that way. It may sound normal and even fine but our culture frowns at it. 
There are a lot of disrespectful remarks/gestures nowadays, like hitting your dads/mum’s age mate on the shoulder because they shared a joke that you found too funny to control your hands. These are the examples I can remember, feel free to disagree with me and also share your thoughts on this topic. 
Adding “ma” or “sir” right after how are you also works. How are you, is actually an indication that you care. I am not sure parents would bother if at least there is an element of respect in the conversation. This is what I usually do but if they are still boiling inside because it sounds rude, then I don’t know what else to say. How is everything seems generic and does not carry weight the way the latter does. I am curious to know however, what people think about this piece. What do you think Obee? If you at least include ma or sir in the sentence then we all should be cool. Or does that still indicate disrespect?
As I said earlier, this “how are you’s” is based on the individual and based on location…I think it may be okay to say how are you ma with a good tone and respect but most people, I have met, I mean older folk don’t like it! But I think this topic is subjective.
Interesting… we Nigerians are blessed to be taught respect and common courtesy for elders. It does go a long way. But it can be over stretched sometimes to the point where young ones are practically made to reverence their elders which can have negative effects. Like not being able to express yourself to those older than you or not opening up to them which might deprive the young person of valuable advice they could have gotten from the older one. Respect gives the world balance but older ones need to bring themselves down to the level of younger people and make themselves approachable so young ones can learn from their experience and advice. Unfortunately, I don’t see much of this happening. Lots of older people just want to sit on their high horses and demand respect without making impact. I think you’re the best person to write this type of article Obehi, because I know that even if you demand respect, you give it back and you are very approachable plus you make yourself available. Keep up the good work dear.
Thanks anonymous for the vote of confidence…I agree that the older folks should make themselves approachable and I think when older people make themselves approachable, the young adults should know their boundaries…before they mistakenly slap his shoulder when he makes a joke and say “you are just funny, hahaha inshort you are crazy hahaha”
hehehe…so true
It’s great that you brought this up as a lot of people have forgotten the meaning of showing their respect to their elders. This should be taught in schools because it is extremely important! It makes you understand that we should be humble and respectful to others and treat them as we would like to be treated. Very good topic for a discussion!