"Ron put his finger up there"

I am so sad and this makes me sick literally…but you must read this because it will help you.

A mother was shocked and horrified to discover her three-year-old daughter had been molested by a friend of the family.

Now she’s urging other parents to broach the subject of sexual abuse with young children to ensure they are safe and aware of what’s right and wrong.

Rachel was stunned when her little girl, Hannah, (names have been changed to protect their identities), casually revealed that her private parts had been touched by Ron Wood.

He was a trusted friend of the family who Rachel had no reason to suspect was a child abuser.

She had only raised the issue of sexual abuse with Hannah after hearing about the NSPCC’s PANTS campaign – which advises parents to ensure their children know they should not be touched beneath their underwear.

Rachel explains: ‘I hadn’t thought about talking to Hannah about abuse before as she was only three-years-old and I didn’t think that it would be something that would happen to us. Not long after hearing about the NSPCC’s Underwear Rule, I was putting some cream on her where her pants had rubbed and thought it would be the perfect opportunity to talk to her.

‘I said: “Where your pants cover; that area is for you. No-one else can touch this area.” I expected her to just say OK but she said “Ron puts his fingers up there.”‘

Jailed: Ron Wood was found guilty of four counts of sexually abusing the girl

In disbelief, Rachel and her husband, Mark (not his real name), then asked Hannah to tell them more about what Ron had done.The couple had known Ron for ten years but had never been aware he had been alone with their daughter when he had visited their home.

Rachel said: ‘I felt so betrayed and I was in a state. We didn’t think something like this could ever happen to her; we hadn’t even left him completely alone with her. We saw Ron and his wife a lot and, from what Hannah told us, he had used every opportunity he could when he got a few minutes alone with her to abuse her. They played hide and seek a lot and she told me that he always told her to hide in the bedroom and he did it then. She said he did it “lots and lots and lots” of times.’

The parents called the police and praised the way they gently spoke to Hannah about what had happened to her before taking their investigation further.

Rachel recalls: ‘Everything was taken at Hannah’s pace and I can’t fault the police at all for how they handled it. I agreed that Hannah could have a medical examination and the damage was consistent to what she had told us had happened.

‘By now she knew that what had happened to her was wrong and she knew that she had to talk to the police about it so that Ron would be punished for what he did.

‘She said: “Do I have to tell them everything that he did to me so that he is told off?” I told her that she did and I was shocked when she said he touched her elsewhere too.’

She added that she was sickened to learn Ron had been telling Hannah she was his ‘special little princess’.

Ron, 60, of Chaddesden, Derbyshire, was arrested and charged with four counts of sexually abusing the girl. He denied he had done anything wrong so the family had to go through the ordeal of giving evidence at his trial.

It’s good to talk: Rachel is urging other parents to broach the underwear rule with their children (posed by models)

Rachel was a witness and Hannah gave her statement via a video link. Rachel said she was proud of how bravely her little girl handled the intimidating situation.

She said: ‘We told Hannah that it had to go to court as she said it happened and Ron said it hadn’t and she understood that. I was initially concerned about her having to give evidence via video link but they did everything to ease my worries and to make the experience as comfortable for Hannah as possible.

‘Mark and I were shown around the court first and were able to ask questions about the process. We were then able to take Hannah so that she could get used to the courthouse and could learn about what would happen.

THE NSPCC’S PANTS RULE

P is for… Privates are private

Explain to your child that no one should ask to see or touch their private parts. Sometimes doctors, nurses or family members might have to. Explain that this is OK, but that those people should always explain why, and ask your child if it’s OK first.

A is for… Always remember your body belongs to you

Let your child know their body belongs to them, and no one else. No one has the right to make them do anything that makes them feel uncomfortable. And if anyone tries, tell your child they have the right to say no.

N is for… No means no

Make sure your child understands that they have the right to say “no” to unwanted touch – even to a family member or someone they know or love.

T is for… Talk about secrets that upset you

Explain the differences between “good” and “bad” secrets. Phrases like “it’s our little secret” are an abuser’s way of making a child feel worried, or scared to tell someone what is happening to them. Good secrets can be things like surprise parties or presents for other people. Bad secrets make you feel sad, worried or frightened.

S is for… Speak up, someone can help

Tell your child that if they ever feel sad, anxious or frightened they should talk to an adult they trust. This doesn’t have to be a family member. It can also be a teacher or a friend’s parent – ChildLine.

‘She gave evidence for nearly an hour as she kept talking and talking. I think they underestimated what they would get from her but she is a very smart, switched on little girl so she kept coming out with things.

‘Even though she was young, I knew from her personality that she was more than able to do it. It was still horrible waiting for it to finish though and I couldn’t see her after as I was a witness so she went and had dinner with her dad. But Mark said she couldn’t eat anything and was upset by the ordeal.’

Ron was found guilty of all four counts of sexual abuse and jailed for eight years.

Rachel said: ‘We were relieved that they came back and found him guilty the same day. He was sentenced to eight years in prison. We told Hannah and she said “See, I told everyone I wasn’t lying.”‘

Rachel said Hannah was clingy for a time after the trial and didn’t like being left alone. But as time goes on, her mother said she is regaining her confidence.

Now Rachel is urging other parents to talk to their children about the Underwear Rule, explained in our pink box out.

She said: ‘I know a lot of parents might be worried about having the conversation with their children but it’s so important that you do. I don’t want this to happen to anyone else.

‘You don’t think that sexual abuse will ever effect your family but it could do so you need to talk to your children about it to protect them. There are so many opportunities when you can bring it up, such as when you are washing them or dressing them.

‘You don’t have to make it into a big thing; you can talk to them as though it’s an everyday conversation. You can just tell them that what is under their pants belongs to them and no-one else should touch it and that if anything worries them they should tell you and not keep it a secret.

‘If I hadn’t have heard about the Underwear Rule I don’t think I would have had that conversation with Hannah and the abuse could have progressed and then things could have got a lot worse.’

For more information on the NSPCC’s PANTS campaign and discussing the Underwear Rule with your children, click here to visit their website.

culled from:dailymail