I came across your blog and have found it very insightful.
I want to know your opinion about this
Am 25, I just newly started dating this 30yr old guy who is really great. Am not sure am in love with him yet.
The challenge I have is with his appearance. He is chubby with a large pot belly. I’ve always had an issue with it but I just thought I’d focus on the content rather than the container.
However am beginning to realize that I need him to shed weight more for appearance sake than for his health . He keeps promising to hit the gym but he hasn’t, he actually has a tight work schedule. I even found about this Clean9 detox product but he adamantly told me he wouldn’t use it.
Am tired of nagging him about his weight.
Should I keep encouraging him or should I give him an ultimatum?
I think you should allow him be you know. But this is just my view. Being overweight is a sensitive issue and people are self conscious about it. Nagging him about it might just affect his self confidence and affect him negatively rather than positively. You might be innocently saying to him: shed this weight but what he might be hearing is that he is not good enough for you and that’s hurtful. If this weight is a large deal for you then maybe you should move on. Go into a relationship with someone because you like every bit of them not because you are hoping some things will change because it might actually get worse. I don’t think you should keep nagging him and I don’t think you should give him an ultimatum because it might just serve to pull him down rather than build him up. If you love him too much to loose him but want him to loose weight then look for creative ways of supporting him and not criticising him or emphasising his body size.
Interesting. I’ll state first that I believe people are mostly motivated to change when the desire for change is from within, not outside. So I believe until he’s ready to lose the excess weight for the sake of his health or appearance, you may be facing an uphill battle of sorts. Why not start small and be gentle with the encouragement to improve his health? Suggest healthy meals/recipes and maybe try and take long walks together, if you can. Join him in this quest to be healthier, you’ll benefit too. It can be daunting when you have to embark on a new weightloss regime so maybe that’s the reason for his lack of interest. Long story short, be more gentle in your approach and try to win him over to the healthier side, for himself FIRST before anyone else. All the best, E.
No guy likes ultimatums. I don’t and certainly think other broads share same sentiment. I think u should lovingly encourage him instead. Make him see reasons why u want it. Hitting the gym can be an uphill task. I once bought an elliptical machine and used it less than 5 times. Losing weight is a personality change for an adult and entails leaving ones comfort zone…not the easiest of tasks. As much as possible, make the process fun. Go with him to the gym.. u can arrange for him to meet you there and maybe plan events afterwards…like go see a movie after the gym or do things u both like afterwards like go to the club. This could make him look forward to the gym. Also make other healthy food choices and watch the portions and avoid late meals. While this is on, please be patient and caring. His love for you will encourage him to do this for both of you…. Good luck. N.
Wow!!! In this modern world where girls don’t care aw a guy looks but his pocket. Thumbs up girl. I think it’s cool to encourage him to work out becos u v shown dat it’s nt just abt d greatness but built. But pls,don’t nag him if he doesn’t want to so dat he won’t begin to feel u r not satisfied/proud of him. #be wise n thumbs up.
My dear, as much as I can tell that you really need advice, the answer still lies with you. I believe that some pointers to the right person are not only the great things we love about them, but also the not great things or even bad ones that we can tolerate or stand to strengthen. Having said that dear, ask yourself if you can live with this guy for life if he never sheds his weight or if he adds more. Please don’t pretend about it. If the answer is NO, then move on, because if you pretend to be cool with it or try to make him do it (when you can tell he actually may not do it when you are married), you are only preparing a bomb that would explode someday and that would be more disasterous than the feeling of letting him go now.
first of all, i won’t try to make this more spiritual than it should be, i think its extremely important to be attracted to who ever you are dating, i know a lot of people say, focus on the inside and beauty is within, but you are not going to wake up to a beautiful pancreas or nice looking lungs or ligaments, so how is it that those things within should matter more than the pot belly you would be seeing all day everyday??? don’t/can’t get it. having said that i think you should talk to your partner about this and how unattractive you find his one pact/k (however you people spell it), tell him in a loving manner but quite honestly how you feel about his weight, and you can both walk through ways in which he can change his eating habit and othe r critical aspects of his life pertaining to his weight. thirdly, if he doesn’t want to change, keyword been ‘want’ please my dear i think its best you do the needful, lest you be a hot 25yr old with a 30yr old man (p.s Flavour is 30 too) whose