Hey guys,


I read Emmanuel’s write up about ‘what girls think men want and what men actually want’ and it was sooo hilarious! My ribs were cracking.

Well-done Emmanuel. I’m not particularly a witty writer or even a writer for that matter so I’d just go as it hits me. This is all from a quarter of a century’s experience of being and interacting with women. Every individual has his/her views and perspectives about life. That being said, while it will be wrong to generalise these most likely apply to many women out there. This is not a response to the post about guys, its just a little exposé of our world.

If you call us up to three times in a week and we do not take your call, chances are, we do not just want to speak to you. Call once a month or better still, stay off the calls.


If you spend one full year asking us out and we still say no, we are just not that into you. You are a great guy and this doesn’t change that but please move on.


I understand that you and I are in a beautiful relationship and I’m loving it but please don’t expect ‘wifely’ duties when I’m just your girlfriend. If you want that, man up and put a ring on it.


We can see that you expect us to accept that you love watching football and can be glued to PS4 or whatever the latest game is but you also need to accept and respect when we do girly stuff too, it’s just the way we are wired. You are not the first guy to keep a sulky face and moan ‘women’ and you sure won’t be the last.


When you take us out on a date, please for the love of God, be a gentleman. Open the car door (if there’s one). Don’t just jump out and hurry into the restaurant like you’re too hungry to steady yourself.
It also won’t harm to pull the chair for us to sit down, pour us a drink and when you drop us home from a date, make sure we are in the door/gate before you drive off. It’s called chivalry.
And you know that thing you like to refer to as nagging? Well, if only you had met the need that was lacking when we initially talked about it, you would not be hearing about this same thing a second time.


If you are broke, be honest about it. Don’t try to be who you aren’t, don’t borrow your friend’s car to ask us out or borrow money to buy things just to impress us. Packaging is important and a pretty package is always attractive but we are more interested in the content than the packaging. Dishonesty is a big turn off!


Now there are a group of guys my sister refers to as ‘umbrella brothers’. She says these are the type of guys that hang around you for a very long time and act like they like you but never get around
to asking you out. Granted, you might be deciding whether or not you will like to be with us but while doing this please maintain a ‘safe’ distance and do not send us signals that indicate you are really interested in us while you might not be. If we happen to fall for you and ask you to define the relationship, don’t act like we are coming on to you strong or give us a sordid ‘where did that come from?’ …Just tell us what your intentions are and let your actions follow accordingly.




There is this false rumor going on that when a woman says No to you, she really means yes. The key to solving that ‘mystery’, when asking us out on a date or whatever, is to read our body language and subtle signals. If we say no and do not want to give you our time either in terms of phone calls, text messages or seeing you then we aren’t playing hard … It’s a NO.

When asking us out, please respect our space. Quick scenario, you see this lady on the side walk and you think ‘hmmm, attractive’ and you decide to walk up to her to strike up a conversation … maybe get a number. There are a few things you should have in mind:
  • You are a stranger and if she refuses to give you her number, she’s only trying to protect herself. While you might mean no harm, not every guy that does that has good intentions, so please resist the temptation to tag her just because of that.

  • Maintain a safe distance while striking your conversation. Don’t stand too close, or touch her arm or hand in trying to make a point. This comes off as disrespectful.

  • Please do not try to use any cheesy or phony pick up lines. Come up with an interesting conversation and you just might catch our attention.

  • Be honest about who you are and what you want.

It seems there’s some kind of guy code about not shaving under arms, which there’s nothing wrong with but please never let a day go by without using a deodorant. It’s a weird conversation trying to tell your man that the fumes from his underarm makes you want to cringe when he hugs you.


Everyone has their own spec when it comes to the type of person they want to be with. It is not uncommon to meet a guy who wants a slim, tall, light skinned hourglass figured lady. In the same way it’s not uncommon to meet a lady who says: ‘can meet his financial needs and some – check!’ So don’t fret when we check that this is in place. There is a lot of important data we generate from this information. You don’t have to tag us ‘gold digger’ just because you feel some kind of pressure because of this. We also feel pressured trying to stay attractive for you. It’s just the way the cookie crumbles!


Please don’t come unto us looking like wizkid just off the stage with sagging trousers and a funny looking face cap. You are not Lil Wayne. We are attracted to men dressed with class.

While we might be interested in seeing that you can take care of your financial needs and some, please don’t put that in front of us like that’s all that matters. For us, there are lots more to being in a relationship than that. This is just one thing. There are other things that really matter too like integrity, openness, honesty, care, tender loving etc.

We don’t have any problem with your football games or ‘guy times’, we just prefer that you don’t act like we do not exist while you do your thing.

By Biebele Alex-Hart

Ladies do you agree and guys what do you think?
bride2mom