No matter how much I emphasise on feelings, I cannot stop talking about it because your feelings can change the trajectory of your life, Yes it is that deep! There are days that are really not so fabulous and it is like the whole universe is on your case!!!!

You want to power through, but your feelings get in your way, you try to pray and it just seem to bounce right back off the ceiling. In all honesty, if you share all you have been through people might even give you a day off to just sulk.

Yesterday  was one of those days for me, I really wanted to just stay home and do nothing, rest and think of all the things that had and had not happened , all the goals I have not crushed and the ones I felt were crushing me. I did not want to go through with my plans for the day, but I started speaking to my feelings. I felt the Holy Spirit saying, “you have got to show up, you don’t have to dress the way you feel, talk the way you feel, look the way you feel, you just have to show up!!!!!! And show up not looking like all the things you have been through” And so I powered through, made my appointment, followed my plans till someone bashed my car!!!! Omg! The emotions that was about to burst out, I was spoiling for war, the guy was even trying to prove a point and be chauvinistic at the same time, telling me his years of driving and how I can never quantify his experience to mine. I was ready to pay him in every piece he served. I refused him to move, I was going to hold him down till he repairs my car, I had carried all the feelings i had been fighting off that day  and was ready to pour it all on him but immediately  but I knew if I gave it to him the way I felt it, he wouldn’t even understand where i was coming from and my feeling would have gotten the best of me, after some time  of contemplating I just walked away.

I am in charge of how I feel and I have got to control it and no matter what I have to show up not looking like all I have been through, I have to treat people really nice and not allow my emotions be the boss of  me. Try that today