Is it just me or do you guys also get totally shocked the way some married men compliment single or married ladies inappropriately? I was going through Facebook recently and I saw a friend’s picture, just before I could comment, I saw a married man say, “wow! Those eyes are burning through my soul” I was so shocked to say the least, there was this compliment a governor gave to Omotola Jalade, standing by his side ” Now I see why they call you Omo sexy” Gees! It was like someone slapped my ear and I almost ran under the ground because his wife was there, then some days ago I was chatting with a married man that said he wanted to marry me in those days and next thing he kept throwing out, “I really miss you, I believe in you, give me your number let me call to hear your beautiful voice”, are you for real? I asked about his lovely wife and kids thinking that will put his head straight, he answered and just continued… MrPossible and I just looked at it and we were stunned, laughed also but it wasn’t funny, Is it some sort of cluelessness or just plain stupidity?
I have had a guy tell me, ” Yes I am getting married but it would have been you” and another called me on my birthday and said ” how will I forget your birthday, it’s the most important date in my life” huh? So your kids birthday and your wedding date is not as important as a single girl’s birthday? What do you expect people to think of your wife? Why make her look like a fool in public…Such a shame!
When I was younger, I detested guys that compliment sexy, if I am your wife, fine and girlfriend (maybe it’s okay) but if you just see me and say you look sexy, It raises a red flag in my head, that this guy is not a “good boy” (with all due respect to guys who don’t know how to compliment otherwise…oya learn!).
After reading that married man’s comment then this topic came to mind, what compliment is appropriate for a married man to pay to a lady other than his wife? Married and single ladies, this is your opportunity to tell your husbands and married men how you think they should compliment other ladies or you (single ladies), so they will change for the better as some of these married men innocently do this. Based on my findings, below is what seem inappropriate for a married man to say to another lady and the pictures below is what your wife MAY see when you say that.
- You are hot: This should not be said to any one except your wife and if she is there when you make that comment but don’t say anything, just know you are not safe
- You are sexy: We may have flabby tummies and may not look same because we gave birth 2months ago but the only person with a banging body is ME.
- You are gorgeous: There can be only one gorgeous person, you better choose and pray you make the right choice
- You are very portable: She is portable all right, why don’t we put her into my bag and take her home
- You have beautiful eyes: Bobo what did your eyes go and look for in her eyes? Ghen Ghen ghen
- Great legs you’ve got there: Hehehe… we shall get home!
Compliment her items not her features: Statements like “your shape can confuse people”, “wow! Are you working out? It is bringing out your shape”, “you have beautiful eyes” far be it from your mouth! Instead compliment her dress, this dress looks nice, you look good, nice picture… you won’t also want to see your wife complimenting people with some kind of words. If it has to do with sexiness don’t do it!
There are different schools of thought on how a married man should compliment and based on my research, many have quarrelled with their hubby for calling someone super cute, some beautiful, the extremist are of the opinion he should not compliment at all(girls are not smiling) and some don’t care how their husband’s compliment at all.
What is your take on this? Are there other ways a married man should not compliment a lady and single ladies have you had any compliment from a married man that you thought was inappropriate?
There is no doubt men see things, for the fact they are married, they are not blind but there should be a difference with the way you compliment your wife and other ladies. Simply put, every lady and what she thinks is inappropriate, if you think your wife finds something inappropriate then don’t do it.
I’m not married…but I think I may very well belong to that category of people who dont care how their husbands compliment. I dont think I am easily attracted to people who are very liberal with compliments in the first place…so perhaps, that may explain it….or perhaps it just doesnt bother me….for now. lol
@ honeyDame I totally get you…
Very well said, I’m a single lady and I definitely do take offence when guys pay me certain ‘complements’ whether coming from a single or married guy. As a single lady, I can take ‘you look gorgeous’ from another single guy but most of the other examples you’ve given will put me on edge because I feel it is disrespectful. Maybe it’s just me, only last week I was saying to my cousin that I felt disrespected by a certain guy who was referring to me as ‘girlfriend’ and this is someone who is in a relationship. I asked him what that meant and he said a friend that is a girl. If you go out and a guy introduces himself and then says that the person next to him is his girlfriend, everyone automatically assumes they are in an intimate relationship. I asked the guy not to call me that again. My cousin didn’t seem to get why I was taking it so personal. This is even one of the mild examples, there are times that I’ve met a guy today and tomorrow he’s already calling me ‘dear’ or ‘baby’. There are also times when my platonic male friends have used names like ‘sweetness’ and such. Personally I find those disrespectful and I do not hesitate to politely ask the guy to avoid the use of any endearment in our interactions.
Everyone is different and another lady might not mind, but I feel the way you address someone can send mixed messages. It can also very easily blur the line between friendship and dating and before you know it, you are confused as to what this person is. Have you noticed that when a person in a sort of superior position wants to get under a woman’s skirts he often starts by telling how how to address him. ‘oh do not call me uncle, or do not call me sir, let’s stick with first names or something of that nature. It’s just a way of getting a woman to be comfortable with them in order for them to be able to get under her skirts without it being obvious that it is what they are getting at. I believe this thinking is also behind the choice of words guys use in approaching women. A respectful guy will never address you in a way that does not depict the type of relationship both of you have at the time.
Personally, I believe boundaries need to be set with any interactions we have with the opposite sex. And we have the responsibility to make sure that guys maintain those boundaries. Because before you know it, you will be wondering what the status of your relationship is and by then it might be too late to rectify things.
It makes me cringe when married and single men say very obviously serial things to me, code for compliments. I am married, but. It makes me so uncomfortable and sometimes violent even (oops I said that out didn’t i?). Anyways, I think it’s inappropriate for a husband or wife to get or receive serially explicit or mild compliments from someone other than their spouses. One guy said to me “curves in all the right places”. I wanted to knock his teeth out. Anyways. Its just my opinion. God help us all
I had a good laugh reading this but some people really don’t know where to. Draw d line. For more on marriage, God word and recipes pls visit http://www.mariasdesire.wordpress.com
Am a single lady,compliment 2 me means Notin but it’s depend the intention d person giving d compliment has
I think a man that compliments another woman (in the ways you pointed out above) is not a real man. He is anything but a man if he doesn’t see his wife/girlfriend as the most sexy, amazing woman in his life. The woman that stands beside you should receive all the compliments and all your attention.
Ive facebooked trolled my husbands page and found that he is telling other females that he loves their eyes… being a woman, a married one at that i find tyese compliments to be very disrespectful and hurtful. He tells me i am beautiful all of the time, but that still doesntbstop tge hurt feelings. He once told me that my eyes are what attracted him to me! I know that if the tables were turned and i was paying other men compliments about their eyes hed be just as much offended as i am by the remarks. I havent confronted him, and not sure if i will due to the fact that i shouldnt have been in his facebook anyways. What would you lafies do in my posistion?