I was talking to a friend one day and she had no idea about anything in her home, even herself, I was in shock! Every information you needed from her, she had to ask her husband, even about her.
It took me back several years, I remember when I was like that, there was nothing I knew about anything, I pretty much was ‘wifing’ along, my husband did every little thing, the gas is finished, he fills it up and changes it, the water is empty, he has done it, pretty much everything! All I could do was take care of the home, after all, is that not my ‘job’? Sometimes he would even try to call me to show me somethings and I would just indulge him but wasn’t paying attention. I even surrendered all about me to him, account number, passwords, etc it took a lot of growing up for me to start taking total responsibility and stopped being a ‘kept wife’. it started when he was sent out of Nigeria to work, all of a sudden, a lot of responsibilities fell on me, the gas finished and I had to learn how to fix it, the light card was finished, I had to do it, the toll card was masked out and he insisted I did it and now I had a baby so I couldn’t just sulk around, I quickly grew up and of course, I am still growing.
We are all in one way or the other kept, while I believe there are some things my husband can and should do for me but I should be able to do it for myself too. I don’t ever want to catch myself in a place where he would travel and it is like a world war 3 is about to go down.
Some of us think it is cute being kept, not doing anything( I don’t mean home makers), it just shows how you perceive yourself? Wherever you are, you are to make it better. Recently my car horn won’t stop blaring in front of my daughter’s school and everyone parked kept asking me to open the bornet and I couldn’t, I have been driving that car for almost a year and did not know how to open the bornet and a sweet lady standing by my side, asked me to open it , I said without even trying ‘I don’t even know how to open it’ she looked back at me in shock and even laughed in unbelief , like she was disappointed…the silent question that hit me was ‘why can’t you?’
I am all about a man pampering his wife, however he did not marry a doll, give value to yourself and your spouse, yes let him pamper you but be ready to also stand on your own and elevate your marriage/relationship,that even gives the guy a kick. In what areas are you kept, can you stand on your own?
Don’t be passive about your own life, na you get am!(it’s your life)
Please do you agree with this or do you think otherwise, I would love to know your opinion.
Yea. nice
I totally agree
I am a kept wife
Just recently moved to Ghana to live with my husband
He’s been living here for 8 years and I don’t know anyone here
He practically does everything from paying the cleaner to paying the dry cleaner, filling the gas and even shopping for me
I feel useless sincerely like I am not adding value to the marriage
We just had our first child and my very first responsibility
Would try to be active and not passive
I am too young to be useless
Vicky I understand how you must feel but hope you know you just moved, ease into it. don’t go rushing to prove a point, you add something to the marriage, in time you would know how to add more. You can start by asking him that he gives shows you around, like where to buy what, you can learn how to drive from one place to the other, just start small. hope to read from you soon.