I’ve got a question. My partner is apparently going through hard times and is really letting it affect our relationship. I’m in a long distance relationship. I’m really trying to be there for him but I feel like I’m the only one making effort. I’m also going through hardship at the moment but can’t talk to him about it ’cause he won’t leave room for it. I’m not even sure what to do anymore. I can’t even say how I feel ’cause I’ve now become a nag. Is there anything else I can do? I feel like he’s being sooo selfish and does not understand how much his actions make me sad.
I think this does not provide enough details of the situation for anyone to give you advice that will be useful and meaningful for your context. I’ll advice you speak openly and candidly to a trusted and mature person about your situation who can then give you informed counsel. All the best
Hi, most times when someone is going through hardship/stress they tend to forget everyone around them and almost become inconsolable because all they are trying to say is “can you hear me? I want to be heard” they forget that the other person might have their own problem they want to share…The way I see it, he wants to be heard and you too want to be heard and it feels like you are taking too much emotional burden as you have to carry your own issue and carry his well and this can lead to a lot of stress, even make you start nagging because you too are screaming “can you hear me?” and the distance is not helping this at all. This is my advice to you, talk to him on how this is making you feel, your choice of words may not be “selfish” but get the point across calmly not comparing what you both are going through like ” I am also going through stuff you know” rather I would advice you say something like ” this has been on my mind, I haven’t been able to share whats been happening
wow!!!! Thanks
Hard times usually brings out our worst side d unfortunately, our loved ones may unconsciously take the hit even though we didn’t mean it that way. That said, I guess this is his tough time and as they say, it won’t last forever. I encourage u to hang in there some more for his sake knowing this will pass soon. But While this is on, try hard tke him smaile and ease tension whenn u guys gist. While subtly letting him also see how I are trying to hold out it difficulties too. This may make him realise he can do better with managing such trying periods. Nagging will Def not help, both of u can’t blow cold at same time. So one should go the extra mile, however how hard it seems to make the environment as friendly as possible. Let your discussions not always be about the problems you both have but also about fun things and fond memories…Things that make u both happy. When the trying time pass, u can then let him know how much it affected you so yo learn from this next time..Good luck.
Thank you!!!!
Thank you obehi for posting my issue. God bless you