No matter how much I emphasize on feelings, I cannot seem to stop talking about it. There are days that are really not so fab and it is like the whole universe is on your case!!!!

You want to power through but your feelings get it your way, you try to pray and it just seem to bounce right back off the ceiling. In all honesty, if you share all you have been through people might even give you a day off to just sulk.

Yesterday I really wanted to just stay home and do nothing, rest and think of all the things that had and had not happened , all the goals I have not crushed and the ones I felt were crushing me. I did not want to go through with my plans for the day but I started speaking to my feelings. I felt a word saying, you have got to show up,you don’t have to dress thr way you feel, talk the way you feel, look the way you feel, you just have to show up!!!!!! And show up not looking like all the things you have been through. And so I powered through, made my appointment, followed my plans till someone bashed my car!!!! Omg! The emotions that was about to burst out, I was spoiling for war, the guy was even trying to prove a point and be chauvinistic  but I knew if I gave it to him the way I felt it, he wouldn’t even understand,after sometime I just walked away.

I am in charge of how I feel and I have got to control it and no matter what, I have to show up not looking like all I have been through. Try that today.