In church for the last two weeks there has been this talk of death, grieving and when Jesus calls his children home… Personally I find myself depressed…The first week they talked about how Jesus takes his children home and the way it came across to me was like I am in a helpless situation and when it is the time for the particular person to go, there is almost nothing you can do. They went on to explain how David felt when he had to pass through grieve, Psalm 42 was what they read..It just got me thinking don’t I have a say in this, are there no promises in the bible concerning long life “Ill satisfy you with long life” and it took me back to all the bible stories and what I have read about Jesus and how he raised people from the dead…Is it not that same God , I am serving?
Then they started last week church service by singing, it is well with my soul did you know that a part of that song say “whatever my lot, thou art taught me to say, it is well with my soul…” As I sat there, with a lady crying behind me as the song went on, I asked myself “is that it? Whatever I go through, teach me to say It is well” what about when I don’t feel that way?


I have lost people and have been close to losing people…I can remember when my closest male friend died, I woke up one day to hear he died and they said he did not just wake up, this was someone that commented on my picture a day before and I responded, I got depressed, sad, withdrawn as I could not understand why a young boy will just die just like that, I did not understand the essence of my christianity, if my prayer could not help save my friend…I wasn’t in the country at that time and believing that God could do something( which I still believe by the way), I sent my mum to please go there and pray that he comes back to life because I could not believe God would allow something like this happen to a young boy full of life, It was heartbreaking and there was nothing that could be done.

That same year my mum came to England for a procedure( It was a very critical issue) that could turn out so bad and I must say my faith was tested, I could not even pray and the day, the procedure was to take place, I did not tell God anything…I felt helpless and as I sat in my bed trying to get my mind off it through some mindless series (my dad did not want us to be in the hospital) all I could say was God I don’t know what to say to you right now but no matter what I say, I feel I cannot change your plan, I would really want my mum to make it, but I am not going to say it to you( because I did not want to be disappointed) so when the phone rings, it would either be a good or bad news and I will handle it from there. Thank God the news was positive.

I also remember when I was told my classmate had leukaemia , she was not my close friend but I took out time to pray for her or was it when my friend’s dad died, I prayed he would come back over and over again, even when I went to the burial, I just believed something would happen, I was positive because I knew he was a good man and I admired him and all he stood for, he was such a devoted christian. That day at the burial, I watched and watched till they put him in the ground, I saw the helpless kids (my friends) crying uncontrollably, I could not even say anything to comfort them, I was a child as well….I just walked into the church bus and started crying, I sobbed uncontrollable and when people came around all I could say was ‘I prayed for him, I really prayed for him’.

When my childhood friend died in March 2011, I told God, I want to experience your resurrection power, you have raised people from the dead, teach me your word, teach me to know you more and understand you and everyday I learn to understand him more but I cannot tell you I have totally understood why people die or why some things happen and just rip our hearts apart but “I know we can only understand in part” there are some things we will not understand now or be able to explain.

Fastforward to mid 2013, my childhood friends and I decided to hangout, we all grew up in a sunday school and this time we were all different, all grown with our various accomplishments and while we were gisting, One of them made a statement that has become my prayer point , she said ” I am not afraid to die, not that I want to die but if I die, I am sure of where I would be going to, it would be painful to people down here but whatever happens, I am prepared!” I was so shocked and said ‘please don’t give us the death talk’ and she said “No Obehi, I am just sure where I would be going to because you can’t be sure how much time you have got left” Since then my prayer has been Lord give me the grace not to fear death, I want to be able to say, when death comes calling , “I am prepared!” Scary right?

Later that year, we heard that the lady that started the children sunday school we grew up in died and trust me, we also prayed a lot! when we found out she was sick but she still died. This time I was not overwhelmed with sadness, I looked at all her accomplishments; an orphanage home, children sunday school, work with the old people, a mentor, prison evangelism and so much more then all I felt was, “What will I be remembered for? What have I done? What are those big dreams I have? Have I done any of it?” Do something now so when it is time, you will die empty. I was just geared up to do everything and anything that God has put in me that would make the world a better place.

What are you doing? Are your dreams so big? Start small…Just do all God has placed in you and know that if he put it in there, he sure would help you through it.

I know you probably wish I had a better explanation to why young people die and why bad things happen to good people? I pray God will help our understanding and I still believe his promises are real and it would apply to us all as we believe but while we are believing, let us start acting, making our dreams reality by releasing our potentials and ask him to teach you to maximise your time here…All the best!



bride2mom