Has anyone ever come to you with a problem, asked for your counsel and every time you think that you are making headway, they block you with an obstacle? They give you a million reasons why what you are saying cannot work, you try again and they give you another reason and they keep throwing curve balls at you, you feel you are meeting a brick wall, they make excuses and keep acting like the problem is unfixable, then my dear friends you have just met The Victim!
They are the last person they would blame, their problem is reaching out to you saying “fix-me” but they would keep impeding you from different angles to make it difficult for you to help them…Before I used to feel so bad when I talk to people like that, I feel drained after talking to them thinking why couldn’t I help this person, till I realized that the problem is not that I don’t have solutions but because they have chosen to stay in that problem, wallow in it. They want you to see reasons why they cannot be helped and sincerely they are not looking for help but they are looking for support in whatever problem they are in or trying to feel less guilty by sharing the problem. They play the victim card so well that it feels like you are shooting blanks. It is not you my dear, they have decided to build a wall, where they hope to drag you in to be with them, to either support or to say, “I totally get you, it is not your fault.” Well, when next you come around a victim, advice them to accept that they have a role in what is happening in their lives, they cannot live off blaming anybody and they have a decision to make to either break that wall or sit on the high fence of blaming others, also if you feel drained, give them time to take in everything you have said, when they realize themselves they will come back, just be there to receive them…
The crazy thing is that most people can fall into the feeling of being a victim, so whenever you feel like a victim, just tell yourself that this could be your defeat or your victory, after-all, “‘I am on the ground” and “I was on the ground is different”…your story is not the worst trust me, so don’t make it your end, seek help and accept it.
Have you ever met a victim?
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